I should be in bed right now ... I really should. But I can't sleep. Is that surprising? No. Not to me. Tomorrow is such a huge day for me ... I can hardly stand it. The premiere of 'Holidays Like These' is just over nine hours away. I wonder if the big guys get this nervous before a premiere? Guys like Spielberg or Peter Jackson? I would say Lucas, but he seems really to just not give a shit what people think of his films anymore. I truly think that when you get to that point - you should just quit. I know the root of filmmaking is supposed to be about 'doing it for yourself' and everything ... but watching your film with an audience that 'gets it' is beyone description.

The first time I saw any of my films with any kind of an audience was in Febuary of 2004 at Shana and Doug's house (they appeared in the first two films and are mentioned in the third) at the 'Premiere Party'. There was like thirty people there ane we all stood sandwitched in their game room watching it on a 27-inch television. I was so nervous I honestly though I was going to throw up. No shit. But when the movie started, the strangest thing happened - people laughed. And not that laugh you can tell is fake but honest to God laughter. And they kept laughing. It was some of the best 24 minutes of my life.

The one thing I remember more than anything was looking over at Dave in total shock. Dave just smiled back at me and shook his head and laughed. I could tell he was honestly happy for me. I was so grateful to him because without Dave, none of these films would have ever happened. All I was before that was just an idiot with a video camera. Dave was the one that said 'Make something, I'll edit it for you.' I'm sure he regrets those words now as I have, at times, driven the man crazy with questions about the progress of projects we were working on. So I want to take this opportunity to thank him, because he opened a creative door for me that I will be eternally in his debt for.

I have no idea how many people will actually show up tomorrow (or should I say today?) and I have no idea how they are going to respond to the film, but I will say this - I love this film with all my heart. I am proud of every single minute of it and people that don't like it can kiss my ass. The preview for 'The Wild Side' that is attached to the end of it makes me think that project will go above and beyond even this one if we do it right.

I have gone through so much shit trying to get this movie done, but now that it's done it's all the sweeter. Thanks again to everyone that helped get this finished. You know who you are.