Okay ... sorry about being so negative in my last post but I was really freaking out and feeling like everything was going down the tubes. Like I have said before ... I tend to get very negative and aprehensive and look at ALL of the negatives right before I start fiming a new project. This time is aparently no different.

I have a lot more hope and a postivie outlook about everything - at least more than I did last week. I guess I have resigned myself to just try and do my absolute best and what will be will be. If everything falls to pieces around me and this project doesn't get off the ground - it won't be because of me.

I have had an amazing time working with the cast this past month, watching them grow into their parts. All our rehersals and the time we've spent together going over all this has really helped bring us together and make us all even closer - which will be a great thing when we start filming. I have so much confidence in EVERY ONE of the cast memebers. They are all amazing, funny, smart people and I think I will have the least trouble with them than with any other cast I've ever worked with. I have a history of getting frustrated on set and being a less than nice person - especially to Dustin. But he knows that I throw my frustrations at him so I don't wig out altogether and he takes it with a grain of salt and I appreciate him for that immensley.

So .. one week today we get going. Are we 100% ready to go and am I totally calm and at ease with the entire situation? No freakin way. But what the hell? We're makin a movie and I should at least have some fun with it and realize that everyone who is a part of this project is doing this because they want to be a part of it and they believe in me to giude them and help make the best damn movie we can. Is that too much to ask? I think not.

So ... we start filming in two weeks. Are we ready? Not even fucking close. I have never been more nervous about a project falling to pieces all around me as I am about this one at this very moment. I guess I could smile and lie through my teeth to everyone and say everything is 'a-okay' but I just don't think that's fair to anyone.

The first readthrough/rehersal on Tuesday went great. Everyone was there ... the readthrough was great. I was laughing my ass off. I was really amazed at how the script played out and sounded when read all the way through. Then we set another rehersal for Saturday afternoon and two people didn't come. One because they were confused about the date of rehersal and another had 'prior commitments' that he had forgotten about. This - of course - didn't sit to well with me but what the fuck was I supposed to do? Myself and the three people that were there had rehersal and it went pretty good.

The fact that I ever even remotly considered removing Dustin from this project makes me think I should have my head examined. He is - without a doubt - one of the best parts of this project. This part really gives him a chance to shine and so far he has really done so. He is really very funny in the part of Rodney and now I can't see anyone but him ever doing it. Goose is also amazingly funny as Nathan. I did write the part for him and he takes full advantage of it. Regina is really good, and different, as Andi. She plays the part a lot differently than Jennifer would have - but that's not a bad thing. She brings a lot more of an edge to the character ... and I like that.

Patrick and Angella are both really good but since they've never acted before they need a little more direction and work than anyone else. I'm sure they'll be fine by the time we start filming. They're both very intelligent and take direction well, so I have no doubt about their abilities.

On the other hand ... I have yet to meet with Teri, our director of photography, to talk about any of the film or go over any stuff prior to filming. I have not had a meeting with Dave, my producer, in almost two weeks ... and none of the stuff for the radio station has been built yet. So yeah ... that makes me kinda nervous.

I hate to say it but if I still feel unsure about a number of things just before we start filming ... then I will have no qualms about pulling the plug on all of this. I would absolutley hate to do it but I would rather shut this down than go forward with something that I am unsure about and end up with something I am less than happy with. I'm sure that would really piss some people off .... but I wouldn't be against doing it.

Hopefully, eveything will end up working out like it has a habit of doing in the past and all of my worrying is for nothing. I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

When I say Serenity now ... I'm not saying that I really want to see the new film "Serenity" that comes out in September ... although I do ... I'm refering mainly to the phrase that George Kastanza's father used quite regularly on Seinfeld that - in the end - drove Kramer and himself completley mad. That's basically how I feel.

It's been a crazy week in No Failsafe land ... I got an Email from John last Thursday saying that he had not agreed to be in the film untill he read the script ... and now he had. AND ... he had issues with it because he said it "seems a litte crude in some parts"... which is basically a fucking understatement. It is a LOT crude in some parts ... so the fact that he picked up on that and that it offended him to the point where he was thinking about pulling out of the project ... THAT WAS HUGE!!!

The fact that you have offended someone - to me - means that something you wrote, whatever it was, had an impact on that person in one way or another. While some people, like John, have said that the script was crude ... others have praised it for being very funny and honest. I was thrilled when Regina - who plays Andi in the film (see picture below) - read the script and really liked it. I don't care if people love the script or they hate it - I just want them to feel one way or another about it. If they were indiferent ... that would be so much worse.

So ... after all the shit we have been through ... Dustin is back on board as Rodney. For a while there when John was going to play Rodney - I seriously thought about casting Dustin against type and letting him play Allen (the vulgar idiot of the film). Would it have worked? Who fucking knows ... but it would have been interesting.

Patrick is back on board to play Allen now. Patrick played Allen in the original teaser preview we attached at the end of "Holidays Like These" and I had wanted him to play the part - but as I wrote the script I worried that the part had grown to large and if he would be able to pull it off. Dustin, who has been a close friend of Patrick for many years, assured me that he could - and I took his word for it. I have never known Dustin to mislead me or lie to me in any way so I trust his judgement.

Now ... the only thing different about the cast is that Jennifer had to drop out and that Regina is now playing Andi. She really hated it - as did I - being as how I WROTE the part for her. Steven ... or Goose as we call him ... is still playing Nathan, which is also good since I wrote that part for him also. Maybe I need to stop writing stuff with people in mind. That usually has a horrible outcome. Oh well. Tomorrow night is the first official readthrough/rehersal ever. I'm excited as hell and I hope everything goes well. Be back soon with more info ... when I have more info to give.

Okay .... well, a few days ago I had the feeling that our project was going south and that we were just plain fucked and might have to scrap our plans for a summer shoot and move this thing to later on in the year. That's not something that I wanted to do, but at that point ... I had no lead actress, no second male lead and my sound guy (who also has a substantial part in the film) was only going to be available a small portion of the time when we were going to need him.

I honestly was freaking out. Jennifer had to drop out of the project because of her schedule, then magically I get a phone call from someone who saw our ad for actors that wanted to audition. And holy shit ... it was a female. So Dave and I met with her today ... and she was fucking awesome. I was still bummed about the fact that Jennifer had to give up her part ... and since I wrote it for her I knew she'd be perfect ... but this girl ... Regina... she was really good. She fit the part very well.

I still have to fill the part of Allen, which is a major task in itself because of the things this character does and says in the film. It's not going to be easy, but I do have some ideas about it and if it comes down to the wire, we're just going to go with an idea that I have had recently and see what happens. I don't want to get into it too much now because it's too early, but it will be interesting to say the least.

Those people up there in those pictures? Those are my new STARS!!! That's Regina on the left and John on the right. They are both amazingly cool people and I look forward to working with them. Do they look like they might date? Or have dated and then she dumped his ass because he's a pussy? I sure hope so. Otherwise I have no movie.

Hopefully readthroughs and rehersals will start next weekend as our start date continues to creep up on us. If you could wish me luck ... that would be ... great.

I know my title has absolutley NOTHING to do with anything I've just said ... but my friend told me that last weekend and I thought I was going to pee on myself. Because it's true .... right? Hello? Anybody?

So ... we had our auditions last weekend. Two people. Two fucking people showed up. Thank God we did it at my house and not at the theatre, that would have been embarassing.

So ... out of the two people that showed up, we gave both of them parts in the film. The fucked up part is that the one guy who came to auditon, John, was really good ... but not for the part we were casting. He was much better as the part we already had filled ... by Dustin - one of my best friends who has been in every film I have done so far. One of the two main characters in the script is named Rodney. And this guy John, he fucking WAS Rodney. He nailed it. I hated to do it, but I had to do what was best for the film and I gave him the part. The only shitty part was going to be telling Dustin about this. Even worse was the fact that I couldn't get him on the phone for FOUR DAYS after that. I finally talked to him today and gave him the news. He took it well, like I thought he would. He was just a little disappointed. This doesn't mean he's out of the project, just doing something most likley behind the scenes with me for a change.

I had my first meeting with Dave tonight about the project ... which is just a little over a month away from starting principal photography. I found out that Jennifer, who is our lead female actress, will probably have to work on Saturday the entire month of July ... which means she will get no rehersal time with the rest of the cast AT ALL. And Steven, who has a predominant part in the film and was supposed to run sound for the movie has work and an eratic schedual at a recording studio where he is learning and will be unavailable most of the week we're filming.

So now Dave has to call Jennifer to find out if what she said is true and if so we might have to replace her with another actress. And now Dave has to find someone to do sound for the movie too.

Isn't moviemaking fun, kids??? I feel like I should have a camera crew following ME around ... because this is just like the shit you see on Project Greenlight. Is this how ALL movies are made??? I fucking hope not.